March 10th, 1917
by A. X. Zanier
Summary: "You'd better old man." She stepped back looking me over with a gimlet eye. "Not bad for a hundred year old, don't look a day over thirty."


A/N: This story technically has spoilers for the next couple of chapters of _the only hero left_ , but nothing that should ruin the reading experience. Aaaand it went in a direction I didn't expect (color me shocked) as it was supposed to be a fluffy borderline PWP and instead became far more serious and has affected some of the plotlines _only hero._

. . .

March 10th, 1917

.

Snow fell from the sky.

Nothing special here. It had snowed a hell of a lot since early November. Anything from near blizzard conditions to light flurries without a hint of wind.

Just like now.

The air so still it almost felt warm. A misleading sensation to those who were unused to the dangers of a true winter. Most of her staff found themselves in that particular boat. Only a bare few had any real experience with the type of cold that could be felt here.

I, on the other hand, had far more experience than I liked dealing with extreme temperatures. I hadn't been named The Winter Soldier for nothing. Between the eternally frigid weather in Siberia and the decades spent in cryo I'd known little more than cold. This, here and now, downright pleasant in comparison.

The patio area overlooking the lake had been swept clean recently, the current snowfall level not enough to yet build up on the dark gray stone. I wore the jacket Rinn had given to me all those months ago before we'd even moved in here that I'd found hanging in a closet of loaned clothes. I'd been awfully tempted to add SSR wings to the shoulders, but that seemed to be pushing it too far. I'd appreciated the reminder and, in truth, I looked damn good wearing it.

These days the damn near spitting image of my younger self.

Pretty impressive given my advanced age.

"You'll need to grow your hair back if you really want the part of Elsa."

I looked over my shoulder to see Rinn standing there. Dressed entirely inappropriately for the weather. Ankle breaking heels, calves sheathed in only a thin layer of nylon, this led up to the hem of a dress that began mid-thigh. It clung to her body the way the nylons clung to her legs. Her hair had begun to grow back, having reached the bottoms of her ears, just long enough to tuck behind on one side, the rest falling over her face in a graceful swoop.

She should be freezing her ass off.

But then again, she didn't feel the cold like normal humans.

"Thought you were at some fundraiser schmoozing with the rich and famous." She'd only been home a few weeks, but she'd jumped right back into the thick of things and gotten everything back on track as efficiently as she could. I couldn't help but be impressed. She'd been beaten down into a shell of herself, terrified of leaving the confines of the Tower for fear of being taken again, but had somehow come through to the other side.

"Yep. Got back a few minutes ago. Sam is a charmer and had the ladies, and no few of the gentlemen, eating right out of his hands." She slowly paced closer, palms up to catch some of the snowflakes, though they melted as soon as they touched her. "Can't sleep?"

I shrugged, casting my gaze out over the lake, the frozen, snow covered surface visible against the darker trees surrounding it. "Not tired. Everything go all right?" The pair of Wakandan trainees who had accompanied her would file reports, but that would not necessarily tell us anything of value. Whether or not Rinn felt safe would be in her head, not theirs.

She nodded. "Fine. By the book and to the letter."

I turned and moved closer to her. "How are you?"

"Okay. It's gonna take some time, or TJ's head on a pike, before I relax, but…" She shook her head slightly. "I'll get there."

I set my right hand over hers and squeezed gently. "Yes, you will." I had to believe that else I would go slowly insane trying to make her happy. I'd had that chat with Steve about my feelings for Laurin, but it had resolved nothing. I had been there for her, every moment she needed it during her recovery, but nothing else. My feelings one way or another not important then or now.

But Stark hadn't been wrong in his assessment.

Thing of it was that I couldn't really afford entanglements right now, and she did not need the baggage that would come along with being with me, even if she wanted to be. And, aside from the occasional kiss, she had never even hinted she might want anything more. And I couldn't blame her. Once I'd been freed of that desperate longing for her our relationship had been slow to rebuild, but it had and this time based on real emotions rather than a programming error during a hypnotherapy session.

I found I cared about her more than I'd ever thought possible. And, hell, I liked her too. I simply refused to act upon it.

She ran her free hand through her hair. "You are far more confident than I am."

" 'Cause I've been there," I informed her, "and you'll have all the help you need."

"James… thank you." She rubbed her hands up and down her arms, goosebumps breaking out as the chill air made itself known on her skin.

"Go inside, even you are not impervious to the cold." I pointed at the doors with my chin, wanting to enjoy the peace of the winter's night for a while longer.

"Neither are you," she argued, tipping her head up and permitting snowflakes to land upon her upturned face. The long pale line of her neck exposed to my view and I wanted nothing more than to press my lips to the surely chilled flesh and warm it with my breath. " 'Sides I have something for you." While I had been distracted a key fob had appeared between the fingers of her right hand. No actual key, just those magic buttons that locked and unlocked cars these days. It dangled from a keyring in the shape of a shield; one of the many trinkets anyone could buy pretty much anywhere. However, this shield was not the traditional red, white, and blue of Captain America, no this one was all chrome except for the red star dead center. When I looked closer I noticed the patterns similar to those of my previous arm, a clear nod to the Winter Soldier that I used to be.

I took it from her with some confusion. In a bright red triangle were the words Ducati, which I knew to be a high end motorcycle brand.

She kissed me on the cheek. "Happy birthday, James."

I blinked. "It's not… I'm not…"

"I could have waited a few hours until we hit midnight in Brooklyn, but I saw you standing out here and figured, what the hell? Plus that," she gestured at the fob, "was supposed to be your Christmas present, but I was… otherwise occupied at the time. I may have added a few upgrades as well."

"Wait, is that where that rebuilt Triumph came from? The one Steve's been disappearing on? That was you?" We had all speculated on where that bike had come from, and while we had suspected Laurin, we had no way of confirming it, and even after she'd returned we hadn't wanted to bother her with such petty concerns. It made sense though, and if I recalled correctly, while classic in style, it had more than a few high tech upgrades buried in the chassis.

She nodded. "Ducati took a bit longer because of it being a special edition, but…" She shrugged.

I cupped her cheek in my left hand and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Thank you."

"You'd better old man." She stepped back looking me over with a gimlet eye. "Not bad for a hundred year old, don't look a day over thirty."

I snorted then jangled the keys at her. "Can I see it?"

She laughed softly at the clear greed in my voice. "Of course. Come on."

She led the way down to the garage, which once upon a time had been a small stable or kennel built right into the castle itself. There was a larger stable a short walk away from the main building, but it had been badly neglected and used as storage for decades. Rinn had been working on restoring it, though I had no idea if she intended to put actual horses or just horsepower inside when completed.

The one in the castle had been converted into a motor vehicle garage sometime in the early twentieth century and it could hold a couple cars and several motorcycles, though only one had been in residence until recently. Granted, I hadn't been down here in a while as when travelling I generally used the quinjet. I rarely left the castle for anything other than work or a run these days. I'd been to the nearby town maybe a handful of times in all the months I'd lived here; I really wasn't much for the socializing scene, my brain still mostly set on the mores of the forties, which were vastly different from those of today.

The beast of a bike sat in the center of the room, black and red, the carbon fiber pattern obvious and upping the price tag by at least one large zero. Not that Steve's bike had been cheap by any stretch of the imagination, but to do this for me and for no reason other than she could, well, it kind of choked me up.

I ran my fingers along the length of it, sighed heavily and did the right thing. "I can't accept this." I held out the fob for her to take.

She simply arched one eyebrow at me.

"It's too much," I argued, shaking my head. She'd been far too kind to me since day one, hell, gave me my fucking mind back with no expectations of any return on that investment. I hadn't deserved any of it. Hadn't earned a single iota of respect much less lavish gifts of this type.

I hadn't even been that good of a friend for the most part.

I'd hurt and ignored her for the majority of the time we had known each other.

If anything I should be the one laying gifts at her feet in thanks of all she had done for me.

And what had I gotten her for Christmas or her birthday?

Nothing.

Granted, I hadn't even known the date of her birth until after we'd rescued her. Tony spilling those beans without meaning to. Our focus on getting her back and not if she needed another seventy inch TV from Santa.

Her hands went to her hips and the toe of her right foot began to tap on the cobblestone of the floor.

"Rinn-"

"Stop."

My mouth shut with an audible snap. The single word spoken at barely a whisper, but more than loud enough to silence me.

Then she stepped forward until practically nose to nose with me. Those shoes she wore adding inches to her height.

"This," She waved at the bike, "is to permit you a choice, no more no less."

Oh, those words were so unfair. She may have been barely recovered, but she forgot nothing. I ran a hand through my hair wanting to argue, but lacking a legitimate one. "What kind of choice?"

"Freedom."

"Freedom?"

She kissed the tip of my nose, her eyes boring into mine, the green bright even in the crappy lighting of the garage. "Yes. You hide here almost as much as I want to."

"No, I don't." I did argue this time, but knew it to be a lie the instant the words came out of my mouth. She kindly did not call me on it. "Okay, maybe a little, but there are, you know, arrest warrants out for me by various countries and agencies."

"Who won't touch you if they know what is good for them. And you know it."

I muttered imprecations under my breath. My concerns not unjustified, but also, admittedly, nothing more than excuses. Valid reasons to stay here in the castle, comparatively safe and sound and not force the world to be reminded of the horrors the Winter Soldier committed. To not be reminded that Hydra had tried to slaughter a third of the world's population under the guise of SHIELD. To not be reminded a good man, a soldier, a Howling Commando had been so corrupted that he spent most of the century performing atrocities like puppet and that no one had even thought to go back and make sure the body at the bottom of that gorge had actually been dead.

Did I occasionally blame them for leaving me behind? For not looking harder to find me?

Of fucking course I did.

But I tried not to let it show. To shout that this whole mess had been their fault and not mine. That if they hadn't just assumed some wild animal had dragged off my body for a surprise winter's snack that so many horrible things would not have occurred.

At least not to me anyway.

Fair bet someone else would have become the Fist of Hydra and done the same awful deeds that fell upon my shoulders.

And since I would not wish that hell upon anyone, did my best to carry that burden and the memories that came as part of the package.

Rinn's cool hand cupping my cheek brought my awareness back to the reality before me. A beautiful woman who cared enough to permit the choice of walking away. "You are not a captive, not a prisoner, you can leave whenever you wish."

"Right. Like you wouldn't come after me," I sneered, instantly feeling guilty for the tone if not the words.

She shrugged. "I guess that would depend on whether or not you let us know you were okay. You leaving voluntarily is one thing. Vanishing without a trace…" She shook her head. "Damn straight I'd… we'd look for you."

"Don't trust me to take care of myself?" I'd managed for a couple years just fine with my mind cracked and damaged almost beyond repair.

"Don't trust others to not use you," she countered instantly.

A real danger given the theft of some of her neural maps. Including mine.

I tipped my head slightly. "Point taken." Considering we'd only recently gotten her back from a similar situation I could hardly blame her. If Steve hadn't been there, if she had gone to that wedding alone… we might never had seen her again.

So, I could understand that concern should I suddenly fall off the face of the planet without at least a text to give them a heads up. And I couldn't say it wouldn't happen given how often I'd felt that need to run, to get away and just suffer through the horrors that I'd suddenly been reminded of alone. To, maybe, by some miracle, atone for a tiny, miniscule slice of what I had done.

I had knowledge in my head I'd been wanting to deal with, stuff I couldn't really share with the others, not quite yet anyway, but until this moment had no easy way of acting upon it.

I met her gaze, that faint hint of upturned lips, that pure sense of knowing in her eyes. How? How did she always know what I needed? And this bit of freedom had been supposed to come into my life almost exactly when I had realized what I needed to do.

It had been put on hold when she'd vanished.

But now she had returned and so had that need. Hell, I'd been contemplating this exact issue when she'd found me standing in the falling snow in the first minutes of my birthday.

Not able to even come close to thanking her properly for giving me the exact thing I needed in my life at this very moment… again, I simply asked, "Wanna go for a ride?"

She laughed softly. "Of course."

I shed my jacket and handed it to her. Even enhanced, she'd still freeze her ass off in this weather. She shrugged into it, the length reasonable, but I massed much more so she looked like a little kid in dad's coat. An image I so did not need in my head. Father figure I wanted no part of. No, I had a much different relationship in mind for us, even if I were to never act upon it again.

I glanced about and grabbed two helmets off the rack as well as a leather jacket that belonged to either Steve or Sam. While I'd be fine even in shirtsleeves with the temperature, a rock at speed could still seriously injure, so why risk it. Then I went and opened the exterior doors, letting out the light that glinted off the snowflakes drifting lazily down from the sky.

I handed her the helmets, then climbed on the bike, kicking up the stand to get a feel of the balance and glancing over the toys she'd had installed. She placed the helmet atop my head and I pulled it down into place. I'd worn them a time or two before and knew they were fitted with full comms and a HUD that would give me full battle info if I wished it. Tonight I would just be talking to Rinn.

"You've ridden before?"

The dark helmet she wore tipped down then back up.

I glanced behind me; this bike not really designed for two, but we'd make it work. She hiked her skirt up, set a hand on my shoulder and swung her leg over the back of the bike to settle behind me.

"Are you a lean with or a sit still kinda guy?"

I chuckled. "Lean with. Just follow my moves and I'll compensate for the extra weight."

"Gotcha." She carefully placed the balls of her feet on protruding bits that wouldn't be heating up and wrapped her arms about my waist, her chin coming to rest on my left shoulder.

I started the engine with a deep rumble that vibrated my bones and giving me a hint as to the power the beast between my legs contained.

"Ready?"

"Yup."

I shifted the bike into gear and we shot forward with a roar.

The driveway had never been paved and we kicked up dirt, gravel, and dirty snow into the air behind us for more than a mile, the grip decent on the rough surface, but not enough for me to really open up the throttle. Once we hit the asphalt however…

The first section fairly winding so I didn't do much over sixty, the bike hugging the curves with a scary efficiency that made me want to find out exactly how much speed I could get out of the machine. Rinn's grip never tightened and she moved perfectly in sync with me. Not unusual by any means. Steve had commented on that very thing, seeming bemused by it, but that had been prior to the wedding.

Since… well she hadn't really been herself. Might never be what I perceived as her ever again. An experience of that nature changed you, best I could do would be to help remind her about the strong, amazing woman I knew her to be and support her on those occasions when she couldn't handle the world any longer.

A few weeks ago doing something like this had been beyond her. Unable and unwilling to venture beyond the walls of the Tower, feeling safe only when with one of us, one of those few people she truly trusted.

I had been both confused and honored to be including among that esteemed group.

I sure as fuck didn't believe myself to be worthy of it.

The road surface, thankfully, not as slick as it could have been, Rinn paid a small fortune to make certain it remained cleared and maintained even during the worst of what winter had thrown at us. She had wanted to make certain she lost none of her employees to a simple misstep on a snowy curve. We were high enough up in the mountains for a couple stretches on the route to town to be on the edge of sheer drops, though all were closer to the lake than the town itself, which was in a valley a couple dozen miles away.

There had been more than one employee _sleepover_ in the last couple of months when the weather conspired to keep them locked in place. Rinn cared about them far more than getting the work done; better to delay a game release than attend a funeral.

And the employees adored her for it.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course," she responded instantly and with that slight touch of indignation to it.

I snickered softly and when we came out of the last curve, a long straightaway in front of us, I downshifted and floored it.

I watched the numbers crawl upwards swiftly, slipping quickly past one hundred in mere seconds, after that I didn't care.

Then Rinn's arms shifted away from me, and for an instant I thought I had fucked up royally and lost her, but then an enthusiastic shout of pure joy echoed from behind me. She'd turned off the comms, but I could still hear her, if barely between the muffling effects of the helmets and the wind rushing past us.

I could see the next curve in the distance and eased up, permitting friction to slow the bike before gently applying the brake so that we could take that next sharp curve. Rinn's arms curved back around my waist with plenty of time to spare. Minutes later we rolled into the town at a far more reasonable speed. The local police, once they'd gotten used to us clearly settling in to stay, pretty much letting us do as we wish provided we at least attempted to follow the local laws.

A couple of children had gone missing last fall, not long after the Wakandan trainees had first shown up, and when tentatively asked to assist, jumped right in much to the local's surprise. The kids had been found just after dark with cuts and scrapes, but the town had stopped looking at us with suspicion after that.

They had apparently been under the misapprehension that finding a couple of lost kids would be beneath superheroes and had been reluctant to ask until they realized the state did not have the time to assist.

Steve and Rinn had made it clear they need only ask and we would do anything we could to assist. After all we were part of this community now.

Hell, this place had become the closest thing to home since Brooklyn.

The majority of the buildings in town as old as the castle we lived in and had once upon a time served the owners in one way or another. A lot of farmland remained in this valley complete with hardy cows, sheep and goats, but the businesses had become as modern as the times. Granted the local grocery store was exactly that and not some giant retail shop you'd find in the bigger cities. I honestly had no idea how Rinn managed to keep the castle kitchen and ours as well stocked as she did. Deliveries arriving about every ten days or so with exactly what we needed to refill the larder and any special requests that had been made.

I presumed she must have made a deal with some local provider, but had no clue about the details.

This time of night there wouldn't be much open except the local pubs, of which there were several. I hadn't been to any of them, knew them mostly through overheard discussions from her employees, but I had taken the time to look over the entire town in the event we had to cut and run.

That knowledge had been of great use when searching for that child.

"Tired?"

"After that endorphin rush? Oh, hell no. How about I buy you a drink, soldier."

My exact thought. "Works." I trundled down the cobblestone road and towards one of the places still lit up. A few raucous locals out front, arguing in mostly german, the languages fluid and overlapping in this corner of the country. Hadn't seemed to slow down any of her employees, most of whom had turned out to be smart as hell in their own rights. Only a few had spoken any german at all when they'd arrived here and now all of them did. Maybe not fluently, but more than enough to get by and not offend the locals.

Steve and I had picked up german close to century ago, so while some archaic forms of the language remained, we'd had few issues. Much to the amusement of Rinn, who, much like Jemma had mentioned a seeming lifetime ago, picked up languages the way others picked up coins lying around. She had already known german and some hungarian, but after only a couple weeks of exposure to the local tongue twisters had picked it up with an ease that had raised eyebrows.

She gave the basics to the Wakandans when they arrived. Not that they went into town much, but it did happen and she wanted them to feel as comfortable as possible so far away from home. Most of them spoke english to one degree or another, which would let them get by while here as most of the locals understood english even if they did not speak it well.

I pulled the bike into the first available spot, the enthusiastic discussion cutting off immediately as the threesome turned to watch us with wary eyes. I kept the bike balanced until Rinn swung her leg off and wiggled her skirt back down a bit, much to the pleasure of the men on the porch. Then she removed the helmet and ran her hand through her mussed hair. The inevitable consequence of wearing a proper helmet. Two of the three recognized her immediately and waved their hands in greeting.

Then I dismounted and pulled my helmet off, the wariness quickly returning. I didn't take offense, just hoped they would not make a phone call that would lead the authorities here in a failing attempt to arrest me.

Rinn glanced from them to me and back, picking up on my undercurrent of concern. "They're probably just jealous," she said this just loud enough for the men to overhear and earned a pair of derisive snorts in response.

"Des Fahrrades, vielleicht," the taller of the trio called out, getting nods of agreement from the other two.

"Fahrrades?" I grumbled, the Ducati so far from a bicycle that aside from two wheels they bore no resemblance to one another. "Nur weil man sich nichts anderes leisten kann," I taunted back, earning bright smiles and laughter including from Rinn. I set a hand on her back and encouraged her forward and out of the cold. The snowfall still the same lazy downward drift of flakes that seemed to have no interest in becoming anything more.

Rinn shook hands with two of the men as we passed them, a quick exchange of pleasantries before stepping into the warmth of the pub. Without having to remind her, she stepped to the side and gave me a moment to look over the interior. Even though a spontaneous jaunt, I still felt a duty to protect her, perhaps now more than ever as it had already been proven how easily she could be taken even when one of us stood by her side.

"Bar?"

"Sure."

I led her two two empty seats at the far end, which would allow me to see the majority of the room and the main entrance, and permit me to see who came and went without being obvious about it. We thumped the helmets down at the far end where no one would be sitting. I helped Rinn out of my coat and hung it over the back of the barstool, then did the same with my borrowed one as she hopped up into the seat. The bartender took a moment to assess me before coming over.

"Miss Cyrelle, what can I do for you and your… friend tonight," he asked in heavily accected in english.

Rinn, of course, replied in german. "Mulled wine to start. My legs are numb."

He snorted. "That's what you get for riding in this weather in that dress." He responded, switching languages easily and possibly hoping I did not understand. Then he slapped a couple coasters down in front of us before moving off to get the drinks.

"Laurin, you okay?" I hadn't really thought it all the way through, but taking the bike out had been more than a bit unplanned. I'd kind of forgotten she wasn't magically resistant to the cold the way me and Steve were. Her metabolism modified somewhat, but not to the degree ours had been.

She rotated the stool and draped her legs over mine, the skin chilled enough for me to feel it through the heavy denim of my jeans. "Fine. Just cold from mid-thigh down."

I set my right hand down on her calf and hissed at the deep chill radiating off her. "You can get frostbite in case you have forgotten."

She shrugged. "Stop fussing and just warm me up." She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. Her lips warm and soft on my skin and she smelled of expensive cigars and more expensive scotch.

I wanted to kiss her for real, but resisted, knowing it would be a stupid move to make. I would not lead her into thinking there could ever be anything between us.

No matter how much I wished to try.

To see if maybe I could have a life instead of an endless cycle of failed attempts at redemption.

She deserved better. Even if she couldn't yet see it for herself.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, gently running my hands back and forth across her skin in an effort to get her circulation moving a bit better. Her 'bots could do nothing to help her warm up, only fix the mess after the damage had been done. I'd rather not have to watch her regrow toes because I'd been an idiot.

The bartender returned with the mulled wine, steam rising from the mugs, a slice of orange perched on the edge of each. It smelled amazing. I gave him a nod of thanks before he turned back to deal with drunken customer waving his empty glass about and demanding a refill.

Rinn wrapped her hands around the mug and drew it closer to her, taking a moment to breathe in the steam before taking a sip. Her eyes closed and a look of sheer pleasure slid into place, clearly enjoying the drink. Then again she pretty much enjoyed everything she did. I picked up my mug with my left hand, the metal it had been constructed of easily visible, but for once I had little concern revealing who I was, or had been. They wouldn't hurt Rinn, at least I hoped they wouldn't. And turning me in would most certainly hurt Rinn.

When no one else had been able calm her down, I could. When she could not escape her nightmares, I had been the only one who could wake her up. Steve had been able to comfort her, as had Stark, much to my surprise. But only when she had been awake. Without me nearby she hadn't slept, had nightmares, walked in her sleep with violent consequences.

Had gone days without eating.

Tony had asked me to return when not even a visit from her Gramps had been able to convince her to leave the Tower.

But I had.

I had convinced her to come home. To be brave again. To make her feel safe again.

The hated and feared Winter Soldier, who had dealt nothing more than pain and death for decades, had made her believe in herself again.

Me.

Not Captain America. Not Tony Stark. Not her blood family.

Just me.

And I had no idea why.

"Hey." Her fingers tapped atop my left hand, tiny ticks of her fingernails on the metal that drew me back from my musings to found her staring at me with her brows knit in concern. "What's with the broody face?"

I shook my head, not having any way to answer her. I refused to put words to my feelings for her, now way in hell I would ask her to do so. "Just realizing I'm a hundred years old." A blatant lie, but hopefully it would distract her from probing deeper for the truth.

She snickered. "Liar."

Or not.

She twined our fingers together, thumb running along the side of my hand. "I never apologized for what I said that morning."

I blinked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

She arched a blonde eyebrow at me as if trying to determine if I were actually clueless or just pretending better than usual. "At that conference, the morning… after. I said some things that I-"

I squeezed her hand to get her to stop. "You were hurt and wanted to hurt me back." I shrugged. "You've proven you don't believe what you said a dozen times over since then. No need to apologize."

She sipped her wine and watched me with care before speaking. "I know, but it had been bothering me. I wanted to make certain we were okay."

"Of course we're okay. Why would you be worried about that?" I liked her, liked the sympatico we had on any given day. Even when we argued it always seemed to be more a perspective difference than any underlying inability to deal with each other. I felt comfortable with her, which made little sense given our age difference, but then again, there were days she seemed completely out of step with those of her generation. The gap partially due to her being smarter than all of her employees combined, she had simply learned how to be patient and talk to people like people instead of small minded idiots who would never be able to keep up. Impressive in it's own right.

Me and Steve had lost her a time or two when discussing tactics, which had become part of the training with the Wakandans. We'd figured out the trick of it, though, just had to coach the directions in a way she, or the other trainees, could relate to. I'd found it quite satisfying to see that lightbulb moment go off in their eyes, when everything we'd been teaching them clicked together. In her case it had been chess. I'd had to beat her three times before she caught onto my playing style and what I'd been trying to teach her. After that I'd been lucky to play her to a draw, and far more often she beat me soundly. Seeing three steps ahead in programming not the same as during a battle. Some moves, subtle or blatant, going on during a fight that it could be easy to overlook something important simply because it appeared to be of no danger in the present. And once she had… she'd become that more dangerous.

See, none of us had once considered that her brother had been compromised. Solely because he was family. And we'd damn near lost her for good because of it.

She glanced away, almost shyly. "Well, I was a tad bit needy for a while there. Wanted to make certain you…" she trailed off, shaking her head. "Never mind."

I debated for a long moment about letting it drop, but found myself curious and wanting answers. I suspected things about her, about _us_ , that I hadn't been willing to examine to closely for fear of losing what we currently had. "Nope. Not tonight."

"And spoil your birthday? Not a chance in hell." She waved the bartender over and ordered a round of shots for us.

"You do remember we can't get drunk, right?" I slid my hand up to her slowly warming thigh, the material of her dress oddly lumpy under my palm. I glanced down, shifting the hem slightly to see what I had unexpectedly encountered. I sucked in a sudden breath, my head snapping up to meet her eyes, the corners crinkled in obvious amusement at my reaction. "You're wearing garters?"

She nodded, playing the innocent card for all it was worth. "I loathe regular nylons. The elastic ones tend to cut off my circulation, so, yeah, I wear garters. What? Too old fashioned for you?"

I shook my head, swallowing hard. I flicked my eyes down, making note of the deep red color of the material, high end based on the feel, silk maybe. "Do they match?" I lifted my head with a pause partway up before meeting her eyes. The smile now a sly one, her pupils huge in the dim light of the room.

"And if I say yes?"

Christ on a motherfucking crutch. "You are a horrible tease, you know that?" I wanted to move my hand away, needed to move my hand away, instead the stupid appendage seemed to gain a mind of its own and slid further up under the hem of the dress to run along the silky material of the garter strap, shifting until under my palm, fingers trailing along her inner thigh.

"Not teasing," she informed me, look and tone dead serious. "Not with you."

I had no comeback for that, my throat suddenly tight, fighting the words I knew I had to say, to stop this from going any further and ending with her being hurt and angry with me again. I managed a strangled, "Rinn-" before being preventing from ending this before it had even begun by her leaning forward to set her lips against mine, just barely touching, eyes wide open and boring straight into mine.

Her legs parted ever so slightly, my fingers slipping easily between her thighs and dragging a growl from deep in my chest. The moment I gave up, gave in, wanting her and throwing caution to the wind she pulled away chuckling softly.

I huffed out a breath, torn between being thankful and hating that she'd pulled away and placed the next move on my shoulders. "And that's _not_ teasing?"

"No, more… testing the waters."

Leaving me the option of backing out here and now with no consequences.

No harm. No foul.

"No thinking?" I suggested, wondering if she were looking for no more than what we'd had at that conference.

"Oh, lots of thinking on this, I promise you." She took a long slow swallow of the wine, the length of her throat drawing my attention. "We get along, yeah?"

I nodded. "I think so, which is why I would hesitate to take this any further." My hand argued that point by curling about her thigh and making small circles that caused her eyes to flutter shut for a long moment, a soft sigh escaping from her. I chuckled darkly, wondering just how far she would let me take this.

"Which is why I would consider more. We had fun and I think we could have some more."

I felt my brows draw together. "Is that all you want? Just some fun? You can get that anywhere. From anyone." I couldn't deny the hurt that surged through me. "How many hit on you tonight at that fundraiser?"

"Dozens," she answered, "but I didn't want any of them." She refused to let me look away, meeting my gaze with a frankness that surprised me.

"You saying you want me?" Just that thought made my heart pound and I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. I'd been a popular guy back in the day, a real catch back home in Brooklyn. Then in the war dames would flock to me and the Howlies. Yeah, a lot of them wanting to catch the eye of Captain America and settling for the rest of us, but none of them had left unsatisfied, that I could say with certainty. "What about Steve?"

She blinked, confusion skittering across her face for a few seconds. "What about him?"

"You'd be perfect with him," I stuttered out, knowing it to be true. Even Lang had commented on how they looked together, even if she weren't, technically, a super soldier.

Her eyes went wide for a long moment then she burst out in laughter. "You know, once upon a time, yeah, I'd've taken him to bed in a heartbeat, but he's a forever kind of guy and I am not the girl for him." She nudged me with her shoulder. "He seems to have a thing for the Carter women."

I snorted, agreeing with that assessment. "Well, if you're not looking for forever, what are you looking for?"

She rested her forehead against my shoulder for a long moment before responding, "Part of Steve still hopes that after all this is over," she waved a hand about to emphasize the 'all this', "he'll marry the right girl and have his two point five."

"And you don't think that'll happen?" Given she had the weird ability to see the truth in others with only minimal data, I figured I might as well hear her out.

"I think that most of us won't survive what's coming."

Blunt and a determination I couldn't argue with. Still it didn't tell me what she wanted out of this maybe we were currently contemplating. "Mister Right Now as opposed to Mister Right?"

She shook her head. "No. Or not really. I have no illusions about my life. I work hard and like to play hard on those rare occasions I do, but marriage? Not for me."

"You don't want a family? A happily ever after?" If the words came out more than a touch sneering it was because that's what all women wanted. Find a man to take care of them. Or had. Rinn definitely didn't need or want anyone to take care of her. She stood tall and proud and fought for every moment of every day.

She smacked me in the chest hard enough to rock me. "Don't be an ass," she groused at me. "Yes, I would like to have someone to share my life with, but that doesn't require marriage or even living together. And kids are definitely not going to happen. Too busy. Too close to people in power. Too in the public eye…" She shook her. "I had this same discussion with Steve and my Gramps at the wedding. My 'bots did not make the disease go away, just counters the symptoms."

"You could pass it on to your children."

"Ding ding ding, you win the kewpie doll." She tapped her finger on the bar top. "My brothers will keep the family name alive. None of them have the genetic marker so they can breed to their heart's content and I'll happily play the role of doting aunt." She frowned slightly. "If they'll let me, of course."

"So what do you want from this?" I slid my hand up a touch further, my interest not having waned, but not wanting to just be a play toy either. I refused to put words to how I felt about her, the programmed longing having been hard enough to deal with. I didn't want to fall that hard again, but had concerns it would be too late to prevent it. That I already lay at the bottom, having happily drowned without meaning to.

"You worried I'm compromised again?" She cocked one eyebrow, the look serious except in the eyes.

"Maybe hoping you are."

That earned me a look I couldn't decipher. "What do _you_ want out of this?" she asked, catching me off guard.

I opened my mouth to answer, when the door flung open and half a dozen of her employees burst in all raucous laughter and chatter. They were bundled up to the nines, none of them having experienced a real winter as most of them had been born and raised in southern California. They stripped off the outerwear once the door had been shut and took over the huge corner booth in the front. Once settled Hattie bounced over to the bar and placed an order for a couple pitchers of beer, the group clearly celebrating something.

Then she saw Rinn.

"Boss lady, oh my god, you are a genius."

Rinn shifted to better see Hattie, her right leg dropping off mine, but leaving her left, and my hand, in place. I squeezed her thigh gently, if only to remind her I had my hand up her dress. "Well, yes, what in specific this time?"

So modest, my girl.

"Your new algorithm," Hattie said with stars in her eyes and awe in her voice. "The live tracking is beyond amazing. We were testing it and ended up playing the entire game."

Rinn snickered. "You've been down in the dungeon all day?"

Hattie nodded so vigorously the beanie she damn near always wore tried to slide off the back of her head. "All of us. Five playing, though we did trade now and then, the rest recording. We have Diogenes working up a transcript right now so we can go through it later."

"And?" I asked, wondering why this seemed to be of such great import to her.

She leaned back to look around Rinn at me. "And, we are going to break the industry."

"Is that a good thing?"

"If we can get the price point for The Asylum just right, the entire gaming industry will turn to us." She turned back to Rinn. "The graphics are solid, area tracking is damn near perfect, just some lag on the multiplayer side. The AR tracking can run too fast for the game to follow. We're working on a solution now."

Rinn grinned. "You'll have it in the morning. Relax tonight."

Hattie stared at her boss, her mouth falling open for a few seconds as she processed what had been said. "You... you anticipated the problem and already have a fix for it?"

"Yep. And we're going to start the viral marketing next week. I want a big build up before the first con."

"Full reveal at E3 still?"

"Yes. We'll start dual platforming next month, and retrofits for the big sellers as well. I want a full re-release of the Garden trio ready for E3."

That sounded like a ton of work for her tiny crew, but Hattie simply bounced up and down in clear enthusiasm. "You're celebrating not sleeping for the next six months?"

Hattie shook her head. "We'll sleep plenty. Rinn automated the conversion process. The programming additions are fairly minor. We just need to keep up with the viral releases. Haven't created all of them yet."

I looked at Rinn who just shrugged slightly.

"Yes, she always thinks a dozen steps ahead. We'll have everything ready in plenty of time," Hattie assured me, then as if just seeing us for the first time, blushed. "Oh shit, I didn't mean to interrupt your date."

"It's not a date," I all but squawked in surprise.

Rinn laughed softly then patted me on the hand. "Just taking the old man out for a birthday drink."

Hattie scrunched her face up for a moment. You could practically smell the numbers being crunched in her head. Then she eyed Rinn up and down, making note of the far from casual clothing she currently wore and factored that in. "Oh right, that fundraiser was tonight." Then she looked me in the eye and chirped, "Happy birthday, Mr. Barnes."

"Thank you, Hattie," I responded with all due sincerity.

Calls from the table dragged Hattie's attention away. "See you tomorrow, boss." She turned about and trotted away muttering, "Not sure how that doesn't make it a date."

I shook my head in amusement. It really wasn't a date simply because I didn't. Date, that is. No time. No energy. No interest. I glanced over at Rinn. Well, no interest in anyone outside the circle of friends and colleagues I currently had.

Rinn leaned forward to speak to the bartender who I had figured out also owned the place. "They give you any trouble?" She hooked her thumb over at the group of her employees.

He shook his head. "Nah. Bit loud at times, and we had to learn to leave paper about for them since I don't have wifi in here, but otherwise we get along fine."

"Put their bill on my tab tonight."

He tipped his head at her. "Of course." He glanced over at the chattering group. "You and yours are good people. The fit might not be perfect, but most of us are glad you came. And not just because of the uptick in business you brought with you."

"Thank you, but still, let me know if there are any problems. We're only human after all."

"Ja, I will." He nodded at me. "You and yours have helped more in the few months you have been here than some of those who haved lived here for generations. So stop worrying." He reached over and patted her hand in reassurance then poured us two more shots before moving off as a few other locals came in. The place began to take on a bit of a celebratory atmosphere.

Rinn drank down the remainder of her mulled wine, while watching me over the top of the mug. The skin beneath my palm finally warm to the touch. Still, I didn't remove my hand as I probably should have and she did not call me on it. I leaned forward, encouraging her to set the mug back on the bar top and kissed her.

Not just to tease, but in response that question that had gone unanswered when Hattie had interrupted.

She whimpered, her hand coming up to cup my cheek, mouth opening to permit me to slip my tongue inside. She tasted of the wine she'd just finished, her lips soft against mine. When I pulled back, it took her a moment to open her eyes, hers wide in surprise.

"We shouldn't do this," I told her, believing that to be the smart thing to do. To remain no more than friends for the duration of our time together. But I wanted her. Wanted this and to hell with the smart thing.

"Do you want to do this?"

"Yes," I whispered hoarsely. "Doesn't change anything." I gave her thigh a squeeze and then slid my hand back out from under her skirt. I grasped her hand, not having a clue how to do this without hurting her.

"Then what do you want?" She shifted, her other leg draping across my thighs, not put off by my horrible efforts at pushing her away.

 _Aside from you?_

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

She snorted. "Have you seen my life lately? Life is full of hurt, you are one of the reasons I haven't been hurt far worse."

I frowned. "I meant on a personal level."

She offered up a droll look in return. "I know what you meant." She sat back enough to meet my eyes, hers full of a seriousness that shocked me. "I know I've used this phrase before with you, but it doesn't have to be more than it is. Those nights when you can't sleep and actually want to, you can come to me, crawl into my bed, and I'll keep the monsters away."

"Even if I'm the monster?" The words slipped out before I could censor myself, and she cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Then I'll take the time to convince you otherwise."

"And you? What do you get out of this?" I truly wondered what she thought I could give her besides more pain and heartache along with that huge ass target we'd already stuck to her back.

"Well, sex would be nice, but not necessary."

Bad timing as I damn near choked on the quality scotch I had chosen that moment to swallow down. "Rinn," I spluttered, amused as well as shocked at her bluntness.

"Adults, last I checked, and let's be honest here, we definitely have the chemistry needed to make playtime work."

I didn't bother to argue. "And?"

"And maybe you're not the only one with monsters that need chasing away."

And there it was. We'd suspected she'd been having issues sleeping even with the meds Stark's people had come up with. Granted she didn't require sleep daily the way normal humans did, but had gone too long several times and had to be… encouraged to catch those forty winks. Steve doing that stern and disappointed look to guilt her into crawling under the covers and all but pass out.

She had figured out how to sleep by herself again, but it had come at a cost. The nightmares, the memories not leaving her alone most of the time. When awake she could distract herself from them, working from sunup to sundown on one project or another, or hours in the gym when not specifically needed at the office. Vain attempts to exhaust her body to the point she would sleep without dreaming.

I still did the same thing, though I didn't have to sleep nearly as often to be clearheaded. How Steve had managed all those weeks without ever once crashing, beyond me.

"And you think sleeping together will chase the monsters away? You're smarter than that."

She chuckled darkly. "I have no illusions about those monsters leaving me alone, but there's a comfort to having someone nearby who understands." She tipped her head down, finger tracing circles on the bartop, old stains that had become indelible over the long years the wood had been there. "Steve has regrets, not monsters. And it's usually me comforting him to be honest. God, I love the man, but he can be so dense at times."

I laughed, agreeing with her opinion this time. Then her words sank in. She really did love him, which I guess was to be expected since I did as well. "Then why me, if you feel that way about him."

She gave me a bewildered look. "Love, Soldat, is what it is, no more. You can love more than one person at a time. It's why parents don't kill their annoying offspring."

"Like you?"

She grinned. "Exactly. I'm not looking for true love everlasting, not when friends with people who are, for all intents and purposes, immortal, but I do want more. A… a, to borrow from Steve, a partner, without the need to place a label on it. Who understands that sometimes I need to be held tight, or slapped down when my ego gets out of control, or laughed at when deserved, or-"

"And you think you understand me?" Fair question given the massive age gap and completely different life experiences.

"Don't I? Our only misstep involved both of us being compromised."

Well, shit. She had a point, and while there had been some rough edges to deal with on both our parts, she did seem to understand I stood outside the norms, and did little more than help me adapt to the current situation without force or demands. No encouragement to conform, but then again, she didn't exactly fit within the societal norms either, in general or specific to her generation.

A wild card.

"It'll put you in danger."

She leaned forward and kissed me lightly. "How sweet. I'm already in danger. Superhero adjacent, remember."

I shook my head. "Not adjacent any longer. AIM knows your secret even if they haven't tried to exploit it yet. One phone call to the right ear and a UN rep will be on your doorstep demanding you sign the Accords."

She shrugged. "And you could have a mountain fall on you the next time you go play rescue hero. Those dangers will always be there, if we permit them to dictate our personal lives we've lost already."

"Then what? You said you aren't looking for a happily ever after." I cocked my head and narrowed my eyes. "Maybe you are just looking for Mr. Right Now," I sneered, challenging her to deny the words.

"No, I'm not, but with you I have to be practical."

"With me? There are others out there." I waved a lazy hand to encompass the whole of the world.

"I am aware, and yet I keep coming back to you."

"Then why not want a happily ever after with me?" Not that I would encourage that, but I wanted to understand what she called practicality.

"Because ten years from now you will look like this," She gestured at me with a casual wave from top to bottom, "while I will be ten years older." She lifted our hands and placed her lips to my palm, causing me to suck in a breath at the unexpected contact.

She _had_ been thinking about this, probably too much, but given the way her mind worked, processed, she had most certainly run through every conceivable scenario and come to a, for her anyway, logical conclusion. "So what then?"

"Enjoy the time together we have and not fight it when it's time to move on. I'm not an idiot like our mutual friend, I recognize the fact that a decade, two decades from now you might very well find your happily ever after in someone who will live as long as you can. I won't hold you back from something like that."

And she wouldn't. She would walk away with her chin held high and heart broken into tiny pieces, but she'd do it if certain I would be happy in the end. "And if that's not what I want?"

"What do you want, Soldat?" her words soft as she leaned in, looking me right in the eye and just daring me to prevaricate yet again.

"What I don't deserve, apparently." I turned away, finding fascination in the bottles lining the wall behind the bar. Not that I really saw them, my gaze turning more inward than anything, trying to think of another person, another woman I had had cared about half as much as the one beside me. Steve, the Howlies, including Peggy, but they had never made my heart ache with need with little more than a sideways glance.

Somehow I'd gone from desperate longing to desperately in love with someone who expected me to turn away simply because gray hairs had begun to appear.

Though would that happen?

Her nanobots had pulled off any number of miracles, perhaps she might just live as long as I potentially could.

"Are you sure ten years from now you'll be older?"

She reached out and set gentle fingers on my chin to encourage me to look at her. That ache making itself known when the green of her eyes came into view. "Pretty damn sure, that's kind of how it works."

I dredged up a smile. "I mean will you have aged. Wouldn't cell degeneration be something fixable?"

She blinked, as if never having considered that. "Possibly, but in the long term it isn't feasible."

"Why not?" Curious as to why she felt certain we could not have a forever together.

She cast her gaze downward for a long moment, biting the inside of her cheek before answering. "Because they have a shelf life."

I went eerily still as I processed those words and then refused to believe the conclusion I had come to. "What, exactly, does that mean?"

She rubbed her face in her hands, plainly not wanting to admit whatever she had just agreed to. "It means that eventually their internal batteries will no longer hold a charge."

And if they couldn't charge they would stop working. Stop repairing any injuries she sustained, stop correcting any damage being caused by her disease. "Fuck," I muttered, wrapping my hands about hers. "Who knows about this?"

Still refusing to look me in the eyes she said, "You. Tony might have figured it out, but he's never mentioned it so…" She trailed off with a tiny shrug of her shoulders.

Oh wow. How the hell had this happened? How had I become the one she trusted with possibly the most important information about her life. Literally, her life. "How long? How long till they begin to die?"

"You mean until I begin to die? They're an older model, so they'll last a decade maybe a dozen years, if I'm lucky. They'll keep running for a couple years after that, siphoning energy from me to power them, but they will eventually stop working. And the more they get used, the sooner they die."

And she'd been living with them for a decade already. Little wonder she worked so hard, always so focused on her goals and plans. Oh fucking hell, pushed the med nanotech so hard. If she didn't figure it out in the near future she wouldn't have one.

"Zhelaniye," I cupped her face in my hands and leaned forward to rest my forehead against hers. No wonder she had no interest in the long term, she knew she probably did not have one. She'd tried to let me down easy, to get me to not see beyond the here and now, but being the fool I had pushed her into telling what might be the biggest secret in her life. And to realize I might be the only one to hold that secret for her… "We'll figure this out."

She laughed and it only had a touch of bitterness buried deep within it. "You can produce miracles? Because that's what I'm going to need."

She'd already given up. Believed there would be no getting out of this for her. "Doll-"

"Don't do that. Don't pity me. I know what's coming and I refuse to give into pity."

"Pity? Never. But if you know there's an end why be with me at all?"

"Because the heart wants what the heart wants. There doesn't have to be an ever after for there to be a happily."

She had a point, and if I could assist in making what time she had left happy, who was I to complain. Her loss would hurt, when it came, but to be happy, to feel human again until that moment arrived… oh, that would be worth the price of admission. And there would always be the chance that she'd solve the riddle and not suffer the fate destiny had set in place for her.

"So, should there be flowers and chocolates or shall we just jump right into this?"

She shivered from head to toe then answered me with a delicate kiss.

"You ready to get out of here?"

She shook her head. "No, more drinking must happen. It's your birthday, remember?"

I sighed heavily. "You are not going to make any of this simple are you?"

"Not for a hot second." She waved for more alcohol and had the bartender leave the bottle, which we would most likely finish before leaving. She clearly intended to close this place down. "We've done the easy. Time to figure out if this is more than that, yeah?"

"And how are we going to do that?" I poured the whisky into our glasses, my right hand dropping back down to her legs and running lightly over the nylon-clad knee until she twitched when it tickled.

"By talking, duh."

I rolled my eyes.

"Hobbies? Favorite movie? Any shows you've binge watched on Netflix lately?"

I felt like I had a bad case of whiplash at the barrage of questions. "Um, designing guns, from my day Wizard of Oz, recent Fury Road, though I did go back and watch the originals after. Stranger Things was weird but awesome. Currently working on the OA." I tossed back a mouthful of whisky waiting to see how she would react.

She smiled and I felt that tug deep in my chest again, wanting to be able to make her do that every single day for the rest of our lives. The fact that I couldn't, that at some point she would fall apart and not be able to smile… I pushed that thought away. I'd worry about tomorrow when it got here. Tonight I would let her buy me a drink or three to celebrate my one hundredth birthday.

"I craved eggos for a week after watching Stranger Things."

"I take it you successfully resisted?"

"Barely. Ended up making homemade waffles to satisfy the craving."

"Then you did far better than me. I had no idea what the fuck eggos were and inhaled an entire box of chocolate chip ones while watching the last few episodes."

Rinn laughed. "I don't imagine you had anything like it when with Hydra."

I shook my head. "No. I didn't get much of anything from Hydra but pain. I may have been their prized assassin, but once Pierce took over… I was tool, nothing more."

She set a hand atop my left one. "Even tools need to be properly maintained. I wish…"

"Wish what?"

"Wish I'd been there to help more. Maybe… Maybe if I hadn't distanced myself so much from Steve and the others you would have been found sooner." She sounded oddly mournful, possibly regretting the choices she made, but given they'd led to the here and now we enjoyed I would refuse to complain about it.

"You think they'd have found me sooner if you'd been around? That's a bit of ego talking there."

She grinned at me. "Not really. Steve and Sam pretty much looked for you on their own, I would have been more than happy to offer my processing power, but he never asked." She tipped her head down, hiding her face from me. "Probably thought I would have said no."

"You can say no to him?" I scoffed, feigning a look of abject horror at the thought.

She swatted me with the back of her hand, which I quickly snagged and drew it to my lips for a slow kiss. Teeth scraping along her knuckles. She sucked in a breath and her eyes widened, my right hand tightening about her thigh for an instant before delicately circling my fingers on the nylon. Her eyes drifted shut and she whimpered in the back of her throat.

I leaned forward my lips next to her ear. "Maybe this is a date?" I suggested.

She tipped her head slightly to press against mine. "Not planned that way, I swear it. Just wanted you to have a good birthday."

"With you around how could it not be?" I held still, not wanting to push this too far here in public, but unable to pull away for a long moment.

Finally she sighed and settled back into her seat, green of her eyes swallowed up by dilated pupils. At least this time I could be fairly certain unplanned drug use had not been involved in getting her into the mood. "Silly. Did you have any plans for your big day?"

"Uh… no? I mean I have classes most of the day, then me and Steve were gonna spar, but that's about it." I had to wonder how confused I appeared to be given the odd look she tossed my way.

"Are you telling me your best friend for the last eighty or so years forgot your birthday?" She sounded horrified at the mere thought. "I am so gonna smack some sense into his thick skull tomorrow."

Considering I had been surprised she remembered, someone who had zero reason to, she had a point, Then again I hadn't exactly been big on celebrating anything in my life the last few years. Doubt Steve had been either, so why would I expect him to remember my birthday when he actively chose to forget his own. Biggest holiday for the fucking U. S. of A. and he always _forgets._ Refusing to acknowledge the golden child for America had been born on the perfect holiday.

"Well, he has had other things on his mind. Finding you for one." I scratched the back of my head, feeling a sense of consternation. "We barely acknowledged the holidays. He didn't give a flying fuck without you here."

Her eyes went wide. "Tell me he bought something for Sharon and spent some time with her? I refuse to play the part of _the other woman_ in their relationship." She appeared to be truly distraught at the mere thought of her coming between Steve and Sharon.

Rinn wanted him happy, had, from what I had heard, pushed him to try, to make the relationship work given the situation. Hell, had probably chosen this location to base her company solely so he could be closer to Sharon. Shit. I would place even money that Rinn had done exactly that. And given him that bike so he could take off whenever he wished to visit his best girl.

Instead he'd spent two solid months with another woman on his mind.

I seemed to recall a conversation between Steve and Sam about that very thing, the end result being Steve asking Sharon for help looking for Rinn, instead of consoling himself in his girl's arms. Though I supposed that could have happened as well since he'd gone to talk to her in person a few times during those weeks.

He'd better be getting laid, he needed the distraction sex could provide every now and then, the fool. Even in our day and age going into marriage a virgin applied far more to women than men. He just hadn't had much luck until after the serum, and then his heart had been firmly entrenched with one Peggy Carter. And there hadn't been much chance for romance during the war. I'd heard the story of his sacrifice, read the sanitized version at the Smithsonian, seen the Hydra files and had no doubts he had never made a move on her until far too late. The infamous story about the dance one told far and wide, so much so there had been dozens of versions in comic and book form during the years he'd been sleeping.

So, yeah, I felt pretty damn certain my friend had died a virgin.

On the other hand I hadn't and I most certainly had not looked down my nose at the girls I'd passed a fun evening or three with. Dating had been easy for me, but none of them had been something even close to _the one._ So we'd had fun and moved on with little fanfare.

Of course that all changed the day I died.

Had there been sex while with Hydra? Yes. On orders. A lovely set of memories among those I needed to deal with in the near future. I'd been wanting to talk to someone about it, maybe Rinn even, since she didn't seem overly judgemental about… anything really. But not tonight. I doubt us discussing me having sex with other women would be conducive to me getting any later.

I'd already slept with Rinn, even if it had been a mistake at the time. I only regretted it happening because neither of us had been a proper frame of mind to truly consent to the relationship.

The fact that she still wanted any part of me after all the horrible things I had done to her since that night amazed me. Steve could only hope to be half so lucky when it came to him and his girl.

"Honestly, I don't know. Sam tried to keep him engaged with the rest of reality, but…" I shook my head. "I can't say I was much better." I wrapped my left hand about the back of her neck, running my fingers up and down the curve and making her shiver. "I was afraid I'd never see you again."

"Same here. I thought I'd be trapped in that room for the rest of my life." She rotated her head to kiss the cold metal of my wrist. "Thank you, by the way."

"Well, sometimes Steve's stubbornness pays off."

"Yes, it does. That's how he saved you. Stubborn-ass Steve Rogers jumping out of a plane behind enemy lines on the off chance his best friend in the world might still be alive." Her eyes slid shut, head tipping down as I continued running my fingers along the back of her neck. "Shit," she muttered, "this is not supposed to be so depressing." Her eyes came open as slowly as they had closed. "Anything you want to do for your birthday?"

"Aside from verifying the rest of the outfit matches the garters?" Her cheeks pinked in the golden lighting of the bar, but she didn't protest the suggestion that I'd be taking that dress off at some point in the near future. "A few more drinks, then a walk about the town?"

"Dealer's choice. It's your day and I am at your disposal."

"You'll fulfill my every whim?" Wondering just how far she'd take the whole thing.

"Within reason," she agreed. "I can take your classes for you tomorrow if you just want to take off for a few hours. I can do the majority of the moves now."

"I'd prefer spending the day in bed with you, but you'll be busy." I pointed my chin at the revelling employees who seemed to be going over every point in the game they'd spent the day playing, both analyzing the play and enthusing over how much fun it had been. It would appear they actually liked their jobs.

Rinn turned to look at them, a wistful smile on her face. "Them? They'll sleep till noon at the earliest. I'd make them take the day off, but they'll want to push the edits forward, want to see how far we can push this new tech. I won't be able to slow them down much less stop them." She returned her attention to me. "You, my dear, have to learn to enjoy life again." When I opened my mouth to protest she raised one eyebrow, which silenced me cold. "Yes, you love the training, I see it in your eyes, but I know there's more to you than this." She cupped my chin in one hand. "More than the soldier you have been forced to become. I know you were smart before the serum, wasn't there anything you wanted to do when you grew up?"

"Besides keep Steve out of fights?"

Rinn chuckled. "Yes, besides keeping Steve out of fights."

I actually had to think about that for several minutes. Rinn sipping the scotch while I pondered her question. "I don't know. I was a boxer for a while. Made good money that way, but it wouldn't exactly be fair in this day and age."

"Oh, I don't know. I could probably whip up a business plan for MMA style fights between enhanced individuals. Would probably make a lot of money off of it. Legal or not."

I gaped at her. "Have I told you that you have a seriously dangerous mind?"

"You and many others," she huffed in irritation. "Aside from fighting. You were supposedly excellent in all your classes; any subject in particular you took to?"

I had been good at everything, I had simply excelled at athletics, finding my niche early and easily. A lot of the classes boring and easy for me, but I had always enjoyed discovering new things, be it in English or Algebra. These days my head had been stuffed full of tactics and fighting skills and languages and so many other pieces of data that the Winter Soldier might need on any given mission. With new information added whenever deemed necessary, or the tech in the outside world had advanced enough for me to require it.

I'd never had to stumble about in the dark with today's tech since most of it had already been shoved into my head. The most recent update just prior to the destruction of the Triskelion and Hydra back in DC. But did I enjoy doing any of it?

Some yes. She wasn't wrong in suggesting I had been designed to be a soldier, that had been true prior to the war. My athletic skills a definite bonus when I'd been drafted, and because of the sports I'd played I already had some understanding of the discipline a soldier required. Boot camp had been more about teaching me to use specific weapons and understanding the rules in the Army than getting me into top physical condition. Of course they'd also been churning out recruits as fast as possible. Needing every warm body trained enough to throw at the enemy.

I'd turned out to be damned good at killing people from a distance. Even jaded drill sergeants impressed with my ability to hit a target dead center from hundreds of yards away. With the optics of today and the right gun I could hit a target from well over a mile out. No one would ever hear the shot, just the thud of lead to flesh, followed by blood and screams and tears.

"I'm only good for killing these days."

"You don't really believe that else why bother training the Wakandans? Why be part of Nomad at all? Aside from loyalty to Steve, that is."

"Because they need to be prepared," I answered without thinking about the response.

"For what?" she asked, voice dropping to a near whisper to discourage anyone who might be trying to listen in.

I sighed. "I wish I knew." And I did. But all I had was some vague feeling of there being a massive storm on the horizon that could roll over us at any moment.

"Huh."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you are not the only one walking about with feelings of impending doom hanging over their heads like a cloud."

Oh, that was both interesting and scary as fuck. "You among those?"

She nodded.

Which is probably part of why she'd stepped in to help Steve. He would need support from somewhere when the excrement hit the rotating blades. "Then I guess what I like to do other than be a soldier is not worth examining until after. Presuming any of us survive."

She shook her head. "All the more reason to explore it now. There might not be an after for any of us."

I frowned. "I thought we were trying to keep this from getting depressing," I groused, not thrilled at the direction the discussion had turned. This back alley more likely to have a tiny Steve Rogers getting the crap beat out of him by a comparative giant.

She shook her head at me. "You need to take the time to live your life, even if it's just one day a week. I get you still feel conflicted, the dichotomy between Bucky and the Soldier still messing with your head."

I frowned deeply at her. "How can you know that?"

"How can I not?," she countered with. "I see you trying to be what Steve expects of you, especially now that the memories are back and clear. But those of the Soldier still feel more real most days."

I blinked at her, wanting to argue that every word she'd spoken had been completely wrong, except… except she had the right of it. Everything I did went through two filters in a matter of microseconds. Both Bucky and the Winter Soldier analyzing a situation, even something as simple as choosing dinner, a complex balance of two different personalities. Steve looked at me as if I still remained his old friend, though he claimed he knew better. He could not seem to understand that what Hydra had made me into seemed far more real that the Howlie who'd died some seventy-two years ago.

And for all intents and purposes I had died that day. For when I'd finally been pulled out of cryo I'd been beaten into someone else.

My personality now a weird mix of the two people I had been.

Did I want to live up to Steve's idealized version of me?

Yes, oddly enough.

But I knew I failed on a regular basis. A word or a look that cause him to look sideways at me.

"Why don't you ever call me Bucky?" I suddenly asked out of what to her must seem like nowhere.

"Are you Bucky?"

I opened my mouth to say, "Of course I am," but stopped before a word escaped.

She gave me a crooked smile. "And that's why I call you James. Unless you'd prefer something else?" She poured more scotch into our glasses, perhaps hoping the lubrication would ease the confusion and discomfort this conversation seemed to be causing within me.

"I mean… James is my name, but only my teachers in grade school ever called me that. Once I met Steve, I became Bucky and it stuck." Unless I'd gotten into trouble then the Mr. Barnes would be heard along with that stern look. Even at boot camp, Bucky got barked at me far more often than my last name. For twenty years I'd been Bucky Barnes, rarely if ever hearing the name given to me by my parents.

Till Rinn, who may have referred to me as Bucky, but never called me anything except James. Unless angry, and then the Barnes would make its scheduled appearance. I grinned slightly not sure what to make of that revelation on her. I really didn't want to see her as an authority figure, but that's what my mind associated my first name with.

Then again I'd thoroughly enjoyed hearing "James" called out during the heat of the moment, all breathless and full of passion. That I could get used to.

"But you're not Bucky any longer. Not really. And Steve calling you that causes conflict."

I just stared at her, certain she had to be a mind reader to know that. "Your observational skills are scary."

She leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek. "Yes, they are, James."

I chuckled softly, then it struck me, she, by using that name, gave me a starting point, a solid base on which to rebuild my life and figure out who I wanted to be. How she had figured that out before actually meeting me, beyond my ability to comprehend. How had she known this conflict would occur months after I'd been awoken…

In a general sense, yes, anyone could assume that, but her timing on my needs remained exquisite. Giving me that hint of info or push in the proper direction at just the right moment.

"I like tech. Coding, hacking, programming. I'd like to learn how to maintain this," I shrugged my left arm, "so I don't have to rely on others. Maybe be able to do some mods and upgrades on my own. Maybe…" I ducked my head realizing how bold this would seem to her, "maybe help at Cyko now and then. There's some sims I think would be useful for the Wakandans, but they don't actually exist, yet." That _yet_ filled with as much hope and pleading I could manage. I did not want to impose on her life and her work any more than we, Nomad, already had, but after seeing her create that algorithm, the unique coding style she'd created, I'd wondered what else could be done. I'd found an odd beauty in her code and the possible uses it could be put to other than just hyperrealistic games.

"There he is," she said softly, a sweet smile adorning her features. She reached out and ruffled my hair. "I wondered how long it would take you to ask."

I ducked my head down, her fingers digging into the hair and tugging gently. I sighed enjoying the slightly rough treatment and wishing we were alone. I resisted for a moment, causing her to chuckle before encouraging me to meet her eyes.

"I'll teach you everything I know if you wish. Need to leave my legacy to someone."

I swallowed hard at those words, the reminder that she might very well only live a few more years, might not make it to her thirtieth birthday, never mind one hundredth. "What about them?" I flicked my eyes over to her employees, the ones who would make the best use of the tech in my opinion.

"They'll continue the gaming for a fair two decades if they want. I've got the mods and upgrades planned that far ahead."

"But won't the tech outgrow your games?"

She released my hair to cup my chin. "No. With my compression we're actually decades ahead of current tech. There's a reason The Asylum is so small. It'll last probably a full decade before the compression speeds need to be modified. It has acres of space that'll go unused with the current tech levels."

"Wait? Does Hattie know that?" Her look said it all. She'd been hiding the exact nature of her code from all of them. Break the industry? She could rewrite it and the rest of the _world_ would scramble to keep up.

I had no clue what breakthrough she'd discovered, but she had clearly not shared her toys with anyone and now… now she was offering them to me. On that proverbial platter.

"Why not Stark?" I questioned. It made far more sense, to me anyway, to have the man who would understand this stuff easily take the reins to hold.

"And have him decide my plans are too long range? Oh, hell no. Plus, he has more than enough on his plate between SI and the Avengers." She gave me a grim smile. "Hattie and them won't stay with Cyko forever, and none of them have the acumen to run the company. They'd manage for a while, David is pretty damn solid when it comes to organizational planning, but…"

"But they're not as smart as you."

"No. Don't get me wrong, they were all top of their class, even the ones who didn't actually graduate, but that's what I wanted. What I needed. But not one of them is the next Gates or Jobs -"

"Or Stark?" I quirked an eyebrow over the top of my glass before drinking down the shot.

"Or Stark," she agreed.

"They why me? I'm none of those." And, yes, I knew who Steve Jobs and Bill Gates were. I may have been in hiding, but I hadn't been living in a cave, or a bubble. I had caught up on the world as much as possible. Info that hadn't already been stuffed into my head anyway.

"Are you certain about that?" she asked in that tone of voice that told me to think carefully before answering.

I had the opportunity to be more, to be anything I wanted really, to use what I'd been given to become something other than a killer. I'd taken on the mantle of hero, even if I wore it heavily, not yet having had a real challenge fall at my feet. Not that saving people from the next disaster would ever be worthless. No, it remained one of the most important things I could do. But face a real danger, a danger that would impact the entire planet like the Chitauri? I'd not yet had that opportunity, and, let's be real here, that's what I had been designed for.

Then why did part of me want to take her up on the offer and change the direction of my life.

Ah.

My life had not been under my control for a very long time, little wonder I might jump at an opportunity to do something other than what others expected of me. And, yeah, that included Steve.

"And if I say no?"

She shrugged. "Then you do something else. I still teach you everything you want to know, about your arm and any tech I have access to. Which," she gave me a nudge, "is quite a bit by the way."

I couldn't say I was surprised given she had contacts in SHIELD, the Avengers, and who the hell knew where else, she could probably get me launch codes if I had a legitimate need for them… or if she were bored. "Let's start with figuring out if I'm even capable of learning this stuff."

"Really? You're worried about that," she scoffed. "You can read my code. My guys can only do that on their best day. That's why my servers are so damn valuable."

I took a moment to permit the meaning of that statement sink in. She had two sets of servers not because of vanity, but because one turned the ordinary code into the highly compressed version the games actually ran on. She could write in the language and I could read it a little, but it only fully existed in those servers and her head. "You can't teach them, can you?"

She gave me a wan smile. "See, you are smart. I've tried, but it has yet to click with anyone. Even Tony can't read it and he's created several programming languages over the years. "You are the first I've met in a long time who saw more than a glimpse of what I've created."

"But all you do is create entertainment, damn impressive entertainment admittedly, but that's it."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Well, my nanobots use the same programming parameters, which allow them to learn to a degree. Adapt to changing situations. The interfaces are far simpler since modifying the code directly is beyond most people."

"Well, that's because," I reached out to tweak her nose, "you invented it."

She growled softly, baring her teeth in mock anger. "But it's so much simpler and logical that those other ones. I don't understand why others can't see it."

"Might be because you're brain is weird," I explained with a shrug of my shoulders earning a laugh for my trouble as I intended. "But that's okay, I like your weird brain." I leaned forward and kissed her. We would discuss this again in the near future, but for now I wanted to move on to other things. I hadn't had a birthday celebration of any kind since I'd been a kid, age ten or thereabouts if I recalled correctly, and thanks to her I did. Steve had been there and we'd been thick as thieves. I didn't care if my others friends didn't understand why I hung out with the sickly runt that was Steve Rogers. I knew he and I were meant to stand side by side in life. Even now I felt that to be true. I'd fight for him and with him until the end came and successfully took us away. We'd both survived death once already, no reason we couldn't a few more times.

Right?

"Let's get out of here."

She nodded, shifted her legs off of mine and slid off the stool. I helped her into my coat, making certain it had been buttoned up, her curves muted by the cut. I handed her the helmets while putting my coat on. I still fully intended to go for that walk, holding her hand, and acting like teenagers in love. We said our goodbyes to the bartender/owner then escaped into the winter's night. We set the helmets atop the bike, reasonably certain no one would bother them. Then I took her right hand into mine and led her deeper into the town. We wandered along the streets without saying much of anything, just the occasional bump of a shoulder and our breath making a fog on the night air.

Center of town was a wide open space that had been converted into a roundabout with the advent of modern cars in the middle of which stood an elaborate fountain, drained this time of the year to prevent damage to the structure. I had no idea how long the fountain had existed, but it matched the architecture of the town. It might have been the well once upon a time, but now served as a decorative addition. Not that tourists flocked to this particular locale, which was why Rinn had been able to acquire the castle for a virtual song. She, Cyko, had brought business here, including those who came representing major corporations, or countries even, wishing to procure her services. Her demo rooms as complex as those where she wrote the code to make her games and sims work.

I'd sat in on a nanobot demo with a potential client that had checked out as suspicious, but had been pushy enough for Rinn to agree to the demo. He and his entourage had kept trying to wander to other parts of the building and she had nixed them staying in the castle proper after a terse discussion with Steve. We stuck a Waknadan on each of them and permitted them into limited areas of the castle and grounds, which they had quite vocally bitched about. Rinn had done the demo with me standing at the back of the room, watching the group warily.

And after, came the questions that seemed to have little to with her 'bot designs or uses. She deflected easily, handling them with a professionalism that I could never have managed. They clearly had an agenda other than purchasing her maintenance 'bots. They kept trying to push her into a particular direction and she stubbornly, if politely, refused to go there.

Much like an ass that would sit and refuse to move.

She had ended the Q and A quickly and they'd been escorted from the building without so much as a by your leave. Most clients, real clients who showed a genuine interest in her work would get a tour of the facilities related to their potential purchase.

Not them.

We'd had Sam follow them by air until certain they had no intention in trying to gain access to the castle on foot. All of us on high alert and positive something had been off with the entire situation. We'd been wary for weeks after that, but nothing seemed to had come of it. Of course she'd been shot and then kidnapped after, but, while we had suspicions, we had no certainties.

We stopped at the edge of the fountain, she tipped her head up to gaze at the clouds overhead, the snow still drifting lazily down, in no more hurry than the two of us. And while in the long term hurry would seem to be the best plan, that's not who we were. Even if nothing came of tonight other than time spent with her, I'd be satisfied.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted more. A lot more, but even after denying myself for so many months had no real need rush. No matter the words of doom she had told me. I squeezed her hand to get her attention and then leaned in, kissing her temple before making my way back to find that sensitive spot under her ear. She sighed softly and tilted her head to grant me better access. I took advantage and scraped my teeth along her skin, her body going shockingly soft in my hold.

She permitted herself to be vulnerable around me, in ways even Steve had never seen. "Are you sure about this?" I had to ask, to give her that one last out even though she, as before, had been the one to push us towards this.

"Christ, James, do I need to strip and lay myself at your feet before you believe?"

I went still at the images that flooded my mind with those words. Her laughter brought me back to the here and now.

"Liked that idea huh?"

I nodded slowly, not certain I could speak.

"Silly boy. Not here, okay, too damn cold to be naked."

I managed a chuckle that probably sounded far more like a growl given her reaction.

She leaned in and kissed me softly. "Walk me home, soldier?"

"Yes, ma'am."

How could I argue with that?

We made our way back to the motorcycle. I held the key out to her.

"It's your birthday present."

"And that means I can't share?"

She raised one eyebrow, but didn't argue again, just took the fob before I shoved the helmet atop her head. She climbed on and popped up the kickstand, balancing the bike easily. I swung on behind her, wrapping my hands about her waist. "You do know how to drive this thing, right?"

She started the bike with a roar, revving the engine to clear its throat. "So sweet. Who do you think did all the test driving to make certain it met my specifications."

The bike shot forward and we flew down the cobblestone road, her finding just the right speed for it to not feel jarring or like we'd be shaken apart by the vibrations.

We got back to the castle in half the time.

. . .

I left my borrowed jacket in the garage where I'd found it and led the way to the Keep, her hand in mine the whole way. The silence both comfortable and anticipatory. Once my door had been closed I helped her out of the jacket, taking the time to hang it up before stalking back over to her, where she stood waiting hands clasped behind her back. She shifted, clearly intending to kick off the shoes. "Keep 'em on."

Her eyes widened at the gruff tone, but didn't argue or complain. I buried my hands in her hair and kissed her, all the emotions, all the want and need that I'd been holding back escaping in those few minutes of contact.

When I came up for air I discovered I'd shoved her back into the door, our combined mass enough to make it creak when I shifted back slightly. "Sorry," I muttered, hoping like hell I hadn't hurt her when I'd most likely impacted the back o fher head forcefully into the heavy, thick wood.

She looked up at me with a dazed satisfied expression on her face. "For what? For kissing me like you meant it? You did mean it, right?"

How could someone so brilliant sound so insecure?

I kissed the tip of her nose, then her forehead, cheeks, eyes as she closed them, then her lips. My tongue flicking out lightly, causing her to whimper. "Yes." I urged her towards me, away from the door and set my left hand on her lower back, fingers ticking up the line of zipper that ran down the center of the dress. It went the full length and I followed every inch of it, her eyes staring straight into mine the entire time, pupils dilating wildly as she reacted to the motion of my hand.

I stretched my fingers along her bare upper back for a long moment, just finding pleasure in watching her response to my touch. I mean, how the hell had I managed to get so fucking lucky. She wanted me, wanted to make me part of her life, her personal life, not caring about my past or what I had done during my exceedingly long existence.

Actually, that couldn't be less true. She cared an immense amount for me, more than I felt she should or that I deserved. She knew enough of the horrors I had committed over the decades to make a reasoned judgement of who I had been and yet… and yet she still chose to be here, to be with me, and not just because I tagged along with her friend Steve.

Little wonder I'd found myself drifting in her direction no matter which way the wind blew.

I slowly unzipped the dress, one anticipatory click at a time while she just watched me with a patience that amazed me. If roles had been reversed I'd have thrown her to the ground by now, stripping her as quickly as possible to lose myself within her warmth.

Her lips quirked, making me wonder again if she could read my thoughts. One hand came up, fingers barely touching my cheek as she pressed an almost chaste kiss on my lips. "Fulfill your every whim, remember?"

Son of a bitch. Did she ever forget anything?

"Well, you did say within reason."

She gave me a hungry smile. "I promise I'll let you know if you're being unreasonable."

I completed the task of unzipping the dress, more than low enough for it to be easily removed. I'd need to go to my knees to unzip it completely, which would have it's merits, so after a moment of internal debate I did so, continuing to meet her eyes even as I felt the material part. She wiggled slightly, the dress sliding from her arms and down her body to create a inky pool of darkness around her feet.

She inclined her head ever so slightly, directing my attention to what she had worn beneath the dress.

Three barely there pieces of deep red material all of which did indeed match.

. . .

I turned my head at the thudding on the stairs, Steve's head appearing covered with a knit cap. The lazy snow of last night had been replaced with thick heavy flakes that limited visibility and deadened sound like a moving fog in the air. I might not have a balcony, but the window still offered an amazing view of the lake and forest surrounding the castle. I'd found her there when I'd woken up, more of a nap really, our early morning activities encouraging both of us to relax and catch a few moments of sleep. We'd watched the snowfall for a few minutes before I'd dragged her back to bed with no intention of diving back into the welcome arms of Nod.

We'd killed another hour getting lost in one another then, in the afterglow, sweat still on our skin, breath still coming fast, she'd offered to make waffles.

Which had sounded like a fine idea indeed, but only if she'd let me help.

So, when Steve returned from his morning run, snow covered and sweaty he found me sitting at the counter wolfing down a monstrous waffle with real maple syrup that I'd had no idea we had.

"Buck?" He looked as confused as he sounded, pulling off the cap and tucking it into a pocket.

Rinn plopped a plate loaded with waffle and a mug equally loaded with coffee at the spot next to me. "Eat," she ordered of Steve who still stood there, apparently frozen again.

"Rinn?" He looked her over from head to toe, certainly noting that the clothes she wore were mine.

An old pair of sweats that I'd cut off at the knees and a t-shirt way too huge on her. She'd tied a knot over her left hip so she didn't swim too badly in it. She needed to bulk up some, but would never be able to match me or Steve, and therefore would never fill out our shirts, except in certain areas. A good thing, truly, I liked her proportions, and while thin, she definitely had muscle to spare. She just looked more like a long distance runner than a power lifter. All wiry strength and defined musculature.

I wore practically the same thing, though my sweats made it to the tops of my bare feet and I didn't need to adjust the shirt to make it fit correctly.

"Yes, I am Rinn. That," she pointed at me with the spatula, "is James. Did you hit your head while running?"

He shook his head. "No, why?" He settled into the seat, nostrils flaring wide as the scent of the food drifted up to him. He picked up the mug and sipped at the coffee staring at her.

I nudged him. " 'Cause you're staring at her like you've never seen her before."

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it without uttering a sound. Eyes flicking from me to her and back again he settled onto the stool and picked up the fork to gently probe at the monstrous waffle she'd set before him.

I cut a chunk off mine and stuffed it into my mouth, chewing slowly as I watched him try to process the scene he'd walked in on. He took a bite, a groan escaping from him as he began to chew.

Yeah, they were that good. Of course she had now completely spoiled eggos for me. How could I ever justify purchasing a box again after having the glory that were her homemade waffles. Then again I doubted I could convince her to cook these every day, so eggos would do as a back up.

"These are good," he finally mumbled.

Rinn turned about, one eyebrow raised. "Thanks, I think."

Even she appeared to be baffled by Steve's reaction to her being here so early in the morning. She wiped down the counter and turned off the waffle iron, the last of the batter already neatly stored away.

Steve tracked her every move, as if expecting her to attack or suddenly transform into a hideous monster. Instead she grabbed her dress and shoes from the back of the chair she'd left them on and then came over to me, kissing me on the cheek. "I've got your morning classes-"

"Rinn-"

"No argument. I'll make sure to have my reports in by this evening. I think a different perspective can only benefit their training."

She had a point and she might very well she things I had missed. Not likely, admittedly, but possible. "Fine. But what the hell am I going to do?"

She shrugged. "Read a book? Run a sim on the new machine? Take a ride? Pout in the corner?" She patted me on the shoulder. "Remember what we talked about?"

I nodded.

"You'll have access by the time you've finished breakfast. You can play with the new toys until I work up some training materials for it."

I brightened at that idea. I'd meant every word I'd spoken last night, but I knew full well there would be a learning curve. Just because I could kind of read one algorithm did not mean I'd instantly be able to understand anything else. It would be most definitely be a nice change of pace from the training and organizing and guard duty of Nomad. "Send the details through Diogenes?" I suggested and she smiled.

"Of course." Then she shifted over to Steve, smacking him, albeit gently upside the head, damn near making him spill his coffee and causing me splutter in amusement. "And you…"

"What?" he grumbled, shocked as hell she'd hit him for seeming no reason.

"You need to get your head out of your ass and focus on the people around you every once in awhile." Then she gave him a kiss on the cheek, shaking her head at him, while he sat there with a look of justifiable confusion on his face as she headed for the stairs. "I'll drop your stuff off later, James."

"Okay." Not that I cared, she was welcome to hang onto the clothes if she wished. Gave me an excuse to go collect them some time in the future.

She disappeared around the corner and I shifted to find Steve's eyes boring into mine. "What the hell, Buck? Thought you were gonna stay away from her."

I felt an instant of guilt, but not a single moment of regret. "So did I," I admitted to him, but while I wanted to explain the whys of it, I couldn't. Rinn hadn't made me promise or anything like that, but this tale should be told by her and no one else. I got that she didn't want to burden him with the depressing news especially after I'd confirmed that he'd blown off the rest of reality in favor of finding her. He would freak and decide nothing to be of greater importance than her solving the riddle of her nanobots.

And she wouldn't let that happen. Therefore I could not either.

"She convinced me, and it's not like we're dating or anything, just willing to have some us time now and then. It won't interfere with the job, either of ours, so you can drop that one right now." No, we hadn't worked out every detail and would be playing this mostly by ear, but given our lives it made the most sense. Currently we saw each other rarely even though we lived in the same building.

Two ships passing in the night.

Maybe now we'd do more than just pass by.

"That's not…" He set his fork down with a clatter. "Shit, Bucky, you've been keeping her at arm's length for months, why now?"

I shook my head, wanting to tell him the truth, but knowing it wasn't my place. He needed to hear that particular depressing news from Rinn, not me. "We almost lost her, Steve, seems to make sense to hold on while I can."

He remained silent for several long minutes before finally giving a sharp nod. "Good. Thought you'd never figure out how important she is to you. Now, why is she taking your morning classes?"

I stuffed more waffle into my mouth. " 'Cause," I answered after swallowing, "it's my birthday."

Steve's eyes went wide, then turned inward as what I'd said sank in. "Christ, she should've smacked me harder. I'm sorry, Bucky, I've just…"

"Had other things on your mind. Me too. And it's not like I've been celebrating it the last few years."

"One hundred years old. How's it feel to hit the century mark?"

I shrugged. "Don't feel a day over thirty."

Steve snickered. "Take the day off. I'll handle your afternoon classes."

"No need, I-"

"Could use a day off. Spend the afternoon with Rinn. I doubt she'll argue too hard."

I felt that zing of adrenaline, liking that idea far more than I should given what we'd discussed at the pub. "She's got programming to work on."

"She can put it off for half a day." He stabbed his fork at me. "You both deserve some happiness, take it while you still can."

If only he had any idea how true those words were.

He clapped a hand on my shoulder. "You need to start living your life again, Buck."

The same spiel from two different sources on the same day?

If that wasn't a sign from above then it might very well be a conspiracy. But given Rinn and Steve hadn't crossed paths since early yesterday I seriously doubted the latter. "Yeah, I think you're right."

His eyebrows shot up and the mug wobbled in his grip. "I am?"

I snorted. "I know it doesn't happen often these days…" I let the sentence hang as he broke out in snickers. "Thanks, Steve."

He raised the mug in toast. "Anytime."

 _finis_


End file.
